The Fortune Teller Lee said:

“In the village of Elmcorn there lived a boy Steve. He looked into a pool to see himself.

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He saw a beautiful red lady with onyx earrings named Lust that saw his heart and used her sharp names to take it. Steve kicked hard and ran away. She was too quick. The vagus nerve on his heart ruptured!

While he was doing this, Lust’s leader Pride transformed into a snake and injected his venom while Pride’s brother Sloth pinned him to the ground.

Oh no…. in less than 5 mins… the venom would spread into Steve’s body!

This boy Steve ran and ran and ran but he slowly passed away.

His remaining virtues named Sincerely, Humor, Honesty, and Optimism turned into ghostly white gentemen in suits. They cried and walked him to his grave.

The boy’s words were “Carpe DIEM ! Mate you should have taken the booty.”

The Fortune Teller ended Steve’s fortune orb and last said:

“This is usually an exclusive $50 service but I’ll give it to you for free because this is what friends are for.”

*This post is in honor to those lame Fortune cookies I hated to read.